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Author Archive for admin

Starting to Date in your 40s

Posted by admin 
· November 16, 2017 
· No Comments

I have made the decision to enter the dating world, or at least dip my toes in. For anyone who knows me, this is a complete about face for me. I’ve been adamant about not wanting or needing a man for the last 10 years, since my marriage ended. It is a scary decision, but one driven from a longing deep in my gut, an undeniable desire.

Why am I dating again?

I recently ran into a man I first met during my early college years while I was visiting my grandparents. Thanks to social media, we’ve stayed in touch off and on over the years. Now we live in the same town. As a result we’ve hung out a few times, played card games with the kids and gone out to eat. It’s been really nice.

Through this experience, something woke in me, and filled me with a longing that I thought long dead. I began to recognize it as a genuine desire for companionship, adult talk and hand holding. There’s just something unique in a relationship between a man and a woman, that can not be fulfilled by a relationship with the best of girlfriends.

While this particular man and I are not compatible as more than friends, I am grateful for what he brought back into my life.

The Rules have Changed

Yikes! I haven’t dated in almost 15 years. I was with my husband, married my husband and then divorced shutting down that side of my life completely. It hasn’t even been on my radar. As a member of several single mom groups, most of what I have seen are the horror stories. It is a scary thing to get back out there. Things have really changed.

I am older. The men I would consider dating are older.

I am a single mom with teenage children. This is a whole new world with lots of opinions and other people to consider.

How you meet people is different. What people expect is different.

The whole world of the initial meet and interaction is foreign to me. Meeting people online, those first impressions being text messages and picture exchanges.

Wow, I’m just overwhelmed and feeling a big like a fish out of water.

As a result, I have decided to blog this experience in my life. The good, the bad and everything in between. And I’m looking for any suggestions, tip or tricks…

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Categories : Dating 101
Tags : dating a single mom, dating after 40, meeting online, mom is going on a date, single mom
why i am teaching bible

Why I am Teaching Bible for the First Time

Posted by admin 
· January 9, 2017 
· No Comments

Prior to 1963 the school district of Abington Township, Pennsylvania had this statement in their public policy:

Each school…shall be opened by the reading, without comment, of a chapter in the Holy Bible…Participation in the opening exercises..is voluntary. The student reading the verses from the Bible may select the passages and read from any version he chooses…There are no prefatory statements, no questions asked or solicited, no comments or explanations made and no interpretations given at or during the exercises. The students and parents are advised that the student may absent himself from the classroom or, should he elect to remain, not participate in the exercises.

I grew up in a very authoritarian household. My parents were extremely strict and ultra conservative. As a result, as I’ve stated in previous posts such as Baby in the Corner I will ill equipped to deal with the “real” world. Shy and socially awkward, I didn’t cope well with others not having been raised with the same morals and values.

I absolutely did not want my kids to experience that social ineptitude so they’ve been wildly exposed with proper supervision and limits to the world. (I think my ex-husband feared I might go a bit too far in the opposite direction, but I’m happy to report that I found a happy medium.) But because of this, I never felt the urge or need to teach Bible in our now 8 years of homeschooling. I figured they would get enough of that at church without me shoving it down their throats.

I was wrong. Very wrong. And even though I am confident my children know what’s right and what’s wrong, and how to handle themselves in more questionable situations without giving in to pressure, I have failed miserably in giving them a “solid as a rock foundation.” Somehow I lost sight of the fact that it is not our works that save us, it is not our ability to follow the rules, it’s the grace of God. We cannot earn it, we cannot steal it, it has been given freely, sacrificially.

It’s been a hard road for me to come to this conclusion and I pray that I am not too late. But now our daily school session starts like those in Abington Township from those many years ago. We start with God’s word, the Bible. We start with reading it and thinking about it. And while I may, on occasion, add my two cents, I am mostly prayerfully silent as I leave it to God to open their eyes and meet them where they are at.

All I can do is guide and point, pray and be there. God will do the rest. I have found my happy medium between shoving my faith down their throats and introducing them to God’s love through His word. Have you introduced your child to your God? Have you given them the one and only tool they need to know Him better? If not, I challenge you to do so today.

Recommendation:I have found the Daughters of Decision Quiet Time Journals to be fantastic guidebooks for our journey through the Bible. We started with the book of John. I highly recommend it.

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Categories : Overcoming Self
Tags : abington township, bible, christian, daughters of decision, god loves me, god will do it, homeschool, journal, overcoming my past, quiet time, teaching my children about god

The Problem with the $10 an hour Job

Posted by admin 
· December 30, 2016 
· No Comments

I have spent my life covering everything with sparkles or gloss, making even the bad seem ok. I think most of us do that. I hide my tears. I hide my fear. I smile when I want to cry. And heaven knows I try not to ask for help, and when I do I hang my head in shame.

However, this year has been different. Ever since I lost my job in October, 2016, I have struggled with my shiny facade, the cracks in my demeanor have shown and finally this week, I swallowed my pride and sent out a mass email to most everyone on my contact list. No shame!

It went something like this:

As you may or may not know, I have been mostly unemployed for the last year. I do have two part time jobs that help keep us afloat, but if not for the generosity of another family, we would have become homeless in April. Unfortunately, the camper we have been living in has been damaged in the last month (and really was no suitable for winter living to begin with,) and is no longer available to us.
We were planning to return to Williamsburg next week after an extended holiday stay with my grandmother in GA and short trip to TX to see my immediate family. But now we have no home to return too.

I am writing to ask for your help. I NEED a job. Or several more part time jobs with reliable hours. I am willing to relocate ANYWHERE.

Would you be willing to share my LinkedIn profile with your network? You can find it here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/hopehunt

And if I have done any type of work for you, would you consider posting a positive recommendation there as well?

I am not looking for a handout, but a hand up.

Things are pretty dire at this point. My family is not able to offer us any housing at this point other than short term stays. And my funds will run out quickly staying in a hotel/motel. (Food is covered by food stamps as I just qualified again, which was a complete blessing in the timing.)

Your thoughts and prayers are coveted, and I appreciate your consideration in sharing my information with your network.


And the responses from my friends and network were absolutely AMAZING. Sharing my contact information, recommending me to their network, even offers of places to live temporarily. I was brought to tears so many times that day, that by the end, I was just emptied. But once again, my HOPE was restored and I was ready to continue to fight.

But there is one thing that kept popping up…those $10 an hour job recommendations. That “something is better than nothing”. I’m sorry I have to disagree. And here’s why…

First, the math…

Income:

  • 40 hours a week x $10 per hour = $400 per week, approximately $1600 per month.
  • Child support (maybe, but no court ordered) = $600 per month.
  • Odd jobs = $200 per month (average from 2016.)

Total Estimate Income per month: $2,200

Household:

  • I am a single mom of four teenagers/almost teenagers = five of us.

Bills (based on the city where we currently live:)

  • Rent = $1,400 per month for a 2 bedroom/2 bathroom, 900 square foot apartment.
  • Utilities = $150 per month (average from 2015 in said living environment.)
  • Gas for Paid Off Car = $70 (minimum for life stuff.)
  • Life Insurance = $25.
  • Car Insurance = $250 (3 drivers, 1 car, includes rental and car.)
  • Groceries = $500 (low but doable.)
  • Phone = $100 (low but necessary for life and work.)
  • Total Monthly Costs for Very Basics per month: $2,495

    Do you see the problem here? And I didn’t even include medical costs, health insurance (which I don’t qualify for making this amount,) clothing and other misc like toilet paper!

    It just does not make sense for me to go after a minimum wage job, or even a $10 per hour job. I appreciate the recommendations, I truly do. But if I can’t support my family…why?

    I do work two part time jobs making a decent hourly rate to keep us afloat, I am in no way saying “don’t work”. What I’m saying is that I need to focus my energy on jobs that will actually support us, allow us to get off food stamps, allow me to get us health insurance and eventually allow me to give back. Anything else is just keeping us in this terrible cycle of poverty! *steps quietly off my soapbox

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Categories : Mompreneur
Tags : finding housing, food stamps, government aid, it is who you know not what you know, job search, linkedin, medicaid, minimum wage, Mompreneur, monthly budget, networking, over qualified, single mom, unemployment
you are enough

You are Enough, You’ve done Enough

Posted by admin 
· December 15, 2016 
· No Comments

you are enoughThe holidays have always been hard for me. I eat up the Christmas movies where a rich man always falls in love with the woman and turns her life upside down with joy and family.  The reality is a very different picture, and I must admit to finding it hard to celebrate the joy of the season and the true reason for the season.  Instead I get consumed at times with the things I don’t have, the things I long to have. This has been especially true since I became a single parent. The pressure is just overwhelming at times.

But this year has been different for a lot of reasons. For the first time, we are traveling over the holidays so I did not put up a single decoration – not a thing! The only acknowledgment to Christmas at home was digging out the stockings so we would have at least one thing that was familiar. This took a great deal of pressure off.  We did not attend any holiday parties. I did not watch with longing the care that couples take of each other.  We packed up our stuff and hit the road. (Stockings secretly stored away.)

We are also living very frugally due to limited income. Not only did I have to say no to a lot of material things, I just didn’t have any option but to say no.  (To be honest, that made it a lot easier. Being broke has really been a blessing in that sense.)  Instead, I have been watching for months now for freebies and no minimum purchase required coupons for things that I could gift the kids.  I scored some really cool things that filled the stockings: homemade soap samples that smell divine, leather bound notebooks for scribbling dreams and even some cologne samples for my boys. It does not matter that they were all free.

I have a lot more time on my hands and a lot more time focused on my kids. I really, really know them. This made the little bit of money I did have to spend much more effective.  I was really able to seek out things I knew the kids not only needed but also really wanted.  And last night proved that as we celebrated Christmas together at my grandmother’s house.

It was like a Little House on the Prairie Christmas…instead of oranges and shiny pennies.  My children received towels, combs and hand written promises of ice cream cones.  They squealed with delight. Truly!

What I want you to know…is you are enough, it is enough. Our kids want our attention, our love and to know we are listening. You are enough. Whatever you have done or not done, it is enough.  Spend the holiday looking into your children’s eyes, playing card games and listing to them talk and laugh.  I promise the memories of that time together and the attention will last far longer and be much more pleasant than anything you might purchase them.

Merry Christmas to all. And a special prayer for the other single mom’s out there.  May your heart be filled with the joy and laughter from your children.  May your eyes dance with glee at their antics and squeals. You are enough.

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Categories : Count it as Joy
Tags : a different kind of christmas, christmas joy, frugal mom, holiday blues, single mom challenges, small but meaningful, traveling over the holidays, you are enough

He can See Your Heart and Read Your Mind

Posted by admin 
· November 12, 2015 
· No Comments

Today I am over at Creating My Happiness with the lists that have kept me focused during this job transition. But I wanted to drop in and share just a brief glimpse of how God is working in our lives.

Earlier this week, I had a very brief conversation with my Dad this week just catching him up with my job search and kids, etc.  I mentioned that my big concern was getting the little kids winter jackets as they have out grown the ones they have used for the past couple of years.  I hadn’t mentioned this need to anyone else.he-can-see-your-300x250

The next afternoon I received a message on Facebook from a woman I know from church and around the community…offering winter coats.  God answers prayers, spoken and unspoken I see examples of that daily now as I learn more and more to turn things over to Him and be aware of His work in my life.

Have you spoken to God today?  He would like to hear from you.

I am not preaching when I say that…I am praying that you do.  Because in my life, I didn’t listen, I didn’t take the time to get to know Him to listen to Him.  And because He wants my attention, He wants a relationship with me…well, I’m hard headed and He had to bring me to my knees to get it.  I don’t want that to be the case with you.  He’s waiting for you too!

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Categories : Overcoming Self
Tags : god answers prayers, grateful, hate preaching, pray, talk to god, winter coat needs

Why I wore Workout Clothes every day After I lost My Job

Posted by admin 
· October 11, 2015 
· No Comments

It took me all of one day to turn off work and turn on hit the floor running!  As a work from home, homeschooling mom-preneur my daily wear was lazy wear for as long as possible then throw on whatever was clean and head out the door.  I rarely wore shoes except for flip flops or slide on fuzzy boots when it was chilly.  And I was going….

That all changed the day I lost my job.  I read YEARS ago on FlyLady.net that to be your most productive, you had to get dressed all the way to the shoes every morning when you got up.  That was my favorite tip I ever read.  She says “Shoes are a tool! and she made a point to say they must be laced up shoes for this to work.

So the morning after I lost my job, I changed my habits immediately…no more getting up and working in my PJs.  I was up, showered, breakfast cooked and dressed with my laced up shoes before the kids even saw the sun.  workout-clothes-300x204

I have been the most productive and the most joyful I think I could be in this last week as I face this job transition.  And I quickly realized that.  So while I know you are supposed to dress for the job you want, not the one you have…I’m going to be wearing my work out clothes for this time in my life.  Because frankly, I have the job I want, raising my children, teaching my children, coaching my children, now I just need to find a way to support that job.

And my laced up shoes…well, there are step one to getting me there! So this mama, mom-preneur, teacher, coach is going to be wearing her workout clothes and tennis shoes as a uniform for the time being!

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Categories : Mompreneur
Tags : feeling determined, hit the floor running, workout clothes

sXi: Recycled Musical Instruments

Posted by admin 
· March 3, 2014 
· No Comments

Materials

5 pieces of trash – cleaned
Duct tape
Glue
Twine/rope
Paper clips

Assignment

Over a week, collect 5 pieces of trash and wash it, set to dry
Using all 5 pieces of trash and ONLY the allowed material above, create a musical instrument

Inspiration

I stumbled upon these videos one day and was inspired to create this assignment for the kids.  Take a look and see what others are doing.

Paraquay’s Landfill Orchestra

Kickstarter for Landfill Harmonic

Garbage Men Band                                                                                                                                          

Results

You can see some of our results in a previous post Recycled Music Instruments from last fall.

I do not post images with these crafts because I want you and yours to be inspired. I do post the link to our results so you can see them.

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Categories : Crafts & Science
Tags : craft time, homeschool, inspiring kids, make music everywhere, monthly craft prompt, music instruments made from trash, recycle your world, sparx of inspiration, unschooling, upcycled trash, use your imagination

Recycled Music Instruments : Homeschool

Posted by admin 
· November 9, 2013 
· No Comments

Getting the kids engaged in school the first month of this year was really challenging, what I had done for the last 4 years with my younger two just wasn’t’ working…with any of them really. And then through watching what they engaged in during their free time I decided to start using art to teach everything. Earlier I wrote about our first trial project with this…you can find that post here.

So after seeing a video about a group of kids who made their instruments out of recycled trash from their local dump, I decided to challenge my kids.  We are so blessed with so much that sometimes we forget to think outside the box…

The assignment: Create musical instruments out of recycled trash.upcycled trash - musical instruments
Supply List: In addition to at least 5 pieces of trash (each of which they were required to use at least 75% 0f,) they were only allowed to use string, popsicle sticks, glue and duct tape.

They did amazing!  Here are my two favorites….a guitar from a Triscuit box and a drum set from old cereal and kleenex boxes with a coke can as a cymbal sound.

And you know the best thing of all, they were totally engaged, excited about their results and learned alot.  I fully intend to continue with these types of projects…Stay tuned for more awesome creations.

Related links:

Paraquay’s Landfill Orchestra

Kickstarter for Landfill Harmonic

Garbage Men Band

Save

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Categories : Crafts & Science, SparX of Inspiration
Tags : coke cans, engage students, homeschool, landfill orchestra, make music, recycled garbage, reuse your trash, thinking outside theh box, upcycled trash

Learning through Art

Posted by admin 
· October 22, 2013 
· No Comments

It is very intimidating to write about your homeschooling life – what you do, the subjects you teach, the schedule you keep, how your kids are doing. There are two reasons for this:

  1. There is lots of competition not only just in mommy rivalry, think ‘my kid is better/smarter/cuter/faster/etc. then your kid’ but also in all the other mommy homeschool blogs/yahoo groups/Facebook pages; and
  2. There is judgment everywhere…especially when you are a homeschooler. People just look at your children differently, like they either are going to have serious problems or know everything! But you know what…here goes.

As I may (or may not have written about before,) our homeschool life changed dramatically this year. For the last 4 years it’s just been me and Hannah and Cade. They’ve never been to public school and since we started from the beginning there no per-conceived notions so we’ve just kind of flowed along, bouncing from year to year, subject to subject. They’ve done quite well on their ‘proof of progress’ tests and while each of them definitely have some strengths and some weaknesses, I have been wholly content that this is working for us.

Now, start this year…not only are Hannah and Cade here, but one of the twins has joined us at home (the Why? on that is a whole different story) and a neighbor’s daughter has also joined us, both coming out of years of public school routines, expectations, learning ‘styles.’ We started back to school the same time the public schools did since my other twin is still going to public school. And we were off…

It’s been 6 weeks now. And while it’s been fun and I’m confident that this is the right decision for each of them…it’s not been without it’s challenges. My younger two have picked up my older two’s habits of waiting to be spoon fed what they are to do, when they are to do it and how to do it and what they are supposed to learn from it. That is EXHAUSTING to a teacher, I don’t know how public school teacher’s do it!?! And my older two have picked up on the slower paced work flow and gotten a bit lazy, even failing to complete assignments. So in both cases we had some problems.

I’ve tried all sorts of things, changing the schedules, reward systems, being a nagging monster…nothing sparked. Nothing I did got them motivated and passionate about what they were doing. We were falling down a very slippery slope of just mimicking public school here at home…DEFINITELY not what I wanted or what they NEEDED. And then I got inspired…and I know it’s new and borders closer to unschooling then homeschooling (I’ve always considered my style right in the middle of the two.)

But we are slowly backing away from the nailed down, scheduled craziness, and seeing that spark of interest, that light of passion that when full blown just drives them to learn, to research, to expand their horizons…ART. So I am now focusing on learning through art…seriously learning through art, letting it be the stigma for the learning, the catalyst for the research and the prompt for expression in acceptable boundaries.

And the results…outstanding! Can’t wait to tell you more, but for now, take a look at my crew when they had to present their first pieces focusing on communication methods: THINK – Thoughtful, Honest, Intelligent, Necessary and Kind.

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Categories : Crafts & Science, SparX of Inspiration
Tags : graffiti art, homeschool, learning through art, sparx of inspiration, THINK, unschooling, use your imagination

Face as a Slide Anyone

Posted by admin 
· July 30, 2011 
· No Comments

Face Wound – Day 1


My daughter is strong, graceful, caring and lots of fun to be with.  She lights up my life with her love and affection and I am so proud of her compassion and care for others.  But on this day in March .  . . well, you can see the results.  Evidently she was running in the street and decided to dive onto the pavement face first.  I wasn’t home.  The sitter, who I trust implicitly with my children, called and said Hannah fell down and was fine but resting in my room with an ice pack on her face.  Ok, no problem.

I certainly wasn’t expecting to find have her face covered in scrapes when I returned.  I broke into tears.  How could I not be hear to protect her, take care of her?

Face Wound – Day 3

As moms, especially of young children, we coddle them, do everything we can to protect them from physical as well as emotional harm and take the best care of them that we know how to and possibly can.  But sometimes, things happen – behind our backs, behind closed doors, even outside in our front drive.  We can’t always be there, we can’t always protect them.  The bubble boy proved that to us.  It doesn’t make it any easier.  And it doesn’t make us feel any less guilty even it was ABSOLUTELY not our fault or even in our control.

Face Wound – Day 4

So what do we do?  Well, my take on it is that kids need to be prepared for the real world, without constant parental supervision.  Meaning, we can’t wrap them in a bubble or even be with them all the time.  We have to let them make their own mistakes, starting early and be there to help them cope, repair and overcome.  I know this is a corny example, but it’s a visual.  My daughter’s face healed completely.  But for a week, she wore her hair (or tried to) over the right side of her face so no one would see.  She was embarrassed, thought she was “ugly” and had a hard time dealing with the results of this fall.

Hannah – 7 Years Old Photo by CRitchie


My daughter is perfect in my eyes, even when she falls and skins up her face.  Even when she is mean, even when she sasses me (I dread the teenager on the horizon.)  She has my heart and I would do absolutely anything for her.  But I will teach her to stand up for herself, to be proud of herself and to overcome the trials that life will certainly hand her.  And I hope to teach her to do all that with the inner beauty she already possesses – compassion, love for others and strength.

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Categories : Overcoming Self
Tags : accidents happen, beautiful girl, internal beauty, life disappoints, mama heartbreak, raising moral children, teaching them to cope, when you fall get back up, wrap them in bubble wrap
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